a duck and a pirate ship

(and a super poseable wall-crawling Gollum, but more about him later.)

I know it sounds like the title of a warped children's story, but these are actually a few of the very groovy Christmas '04 gifts I received. Arr, that be right, me hearties, me very own pirate ship! (courtesy of me brother, me sister-in-law, and me nephews - worthy land lubbers, the lot of 'em) Here be a snapshot or two of me sea-farin' vessel - the Saucy Skull 'n Sword - set sail on the skirts of the deep blue sea. Arrr!

For the life of me I can't figure out why that lobster is hitching a ride on the front of the ship. My eldest nephew tried to convince me that it was not a lobster but actually a scorpion. As I told him though, scorpions can't swim! Later it did occur to me that there was my very plausible explanation as to why the mysterious red critter would be hitching a ride. Still, I remain unsure. Perhaps an unofficial poll is in order - just reply to this post with either "lobster" or "scorpion" and we'll get the matter sorted.

Now, here be a close-up snapshot of me pirate self, scurvy sea dog that I am! Arr! (Not quite as fetching as my earlier pirate portrait, but suitably scary nonetheless, particularly when you notice that this here pirate is far too cool for a squawking parrot and has a vampire bat instead! So appropriate for my pirate self. Ha!)

Next we have this cute little quacker (courtesy of my dear friend Amanda).
This gift encompasses three of my great loves: (1) cricket, (2) soft toys, and (3) ducks! Amanda said she simply couldn't go past it, as it is pretty much the perfect give for me. I don't know how it is that I've never come across these little guys before, but no matter, because now I have one! Aside from the fact that he's just so darn cute, he comes with the added bonus of a built-in quacking noise when you give his belly a gentle squeeze. Quacker has been enjoying watching the cricket on the TV with me, and has already had a handful of opportunities to let rip with his quacking to accompany batsmen who've gotten out for a duck! (I do not tell a lie, I really have made him quack during the recent Test matches.)

Last, but not least, is the super poseable Gollum with crawling action. When they say super poseable, they mean it! Talk about flexible. Anyway, he came with a wall that you can make him crawl up (or perhaps "shimmy" would be a more appropriate term). To be honest though, there is only so much entertainment value to be had in making him crawl up and down the wall over and over. What I have found to be more amusing is to combine super poseable Gollum with some of my other Lord of the Rings collectibles, like so:

As you can see, here I have created a physical representation of the Gollum personality taunting the Smeagol personality.
Gollum: "Oooh, that fish looks juicy sweet and we wantssss it, precioussss!"
Smeagol: *whipping around with Gollum clinging to back* "Who said that, precious?"

I've also unleashed Gollumzilla on Minas Tirith.
Denethor: *too small to see* "We're all going to die! Where is my oil?"
Gollumzilla: *in loud scary resonating voice* "I'll take Minas Tirith for meeeee!"

Hours of fun! This gift was also from my brother and his family - they are wonderful for keeping my inner child on the outer! Woohoo! :-)

As an aside, I took a peek under super poseable Gollum's loincloth (because I'm a filthy toy pervert) and the poor fellow is completely lacking. I think that explains a lot, you know?

'twas a merry, merry Christmas. As previously posted by my brother on this here blog, the most exciting gift of all on Christmas Day was the news that I shall have another nephew, or my first niece, arriving around August/September. Now there's a gift that's impossible to top. :-)

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