irregular muzings

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Body-Hugging Super Suits

Thankyou Greater Union / Birch Carroll & Coyle Cinemas for once again realising that you overcharge and taking baby steps to rectify this problem by bringing back "Five Buck Tuesday" throughout the month of August!

Not one to squander an opportunity for a cheap flick, I took myself along this past Tuesday to see Fantastic Four. Now, I could write a review, but there are a squillion of those already available on the internet. Suffice to say that this one is squarely aimed at the teenage male demographic. There's plenty of eye-popping whiz-bangery (or is that whiz-bang eye-poppery?), and a scene with a blondified Jessica Alba in pretty pink underwear is a dead giveaway regarding the target market. Despite being a far cry from this target demographic, I thought the movie was humourous, silly (in a good way) and a good, clean, fun way to pass a couple of hours on a cloudy Tuesday afternoon.

(Plus, of course, there was Ioan. *swoon*)

But yes, rather than write a review, I decided that following the positive feedback concerning my previous post about strange musings brought on by a Star Wars viewing, I'd share some further strange musings, this time brought on by a Fantastic Four viewing. Eagle-eyed readers may already have an inkling of what I plan to discuss, having divulged the source of my musings in this post's title...

...that's right. I've been pondering body-hugging superhero outfits! And who hasn't, really?

Now, three of the four members of the Fantastic Four wear body-hugging outfits. One of them can pull it off. (She would be the solitary female in the troupe.) The other two look really, really, *really* silly. There's just a huge ridiculous factor going on when grown men wear full-body, figure-hugging suits. And it's so awkward to look at! One's eyes wage a war with each other as they battle the overwhelming and slightly perverse urge to ogle the, *ahem*, nether regions of said man wearing full-body, figure-hugging suit, while also trying desperately to look away! Look away right now!!

Of course, as I pondered this strange dichotomy (I have no idea if I'm using this big scary word appropriately) I realised that the full-body, figure-hugging suit really works for Spidey. How can this be, that one superhero can pull it off while countless others look like mooks? And, in a moment of clarity, it dawned on me that it works for Spidey because he also covers his head/face! "Ahhh!" you say, "that makes perfect sense!" because, as those who have seen Spidey 2 will tell you, when Spidey is unmasked, suddenly *poof!* the full-body, figure-hugging suit looks really, really, *really* silly!


All this musing led me to issue a challenge to those of you with artistic ability (and oodles of free time) - I challenge someone, anyone, to redesign some comic superhero outfits: moving away from the spandex into a more breathable and flowing cotton, per say. Yes! You could work with Spidey's suit, or Mr. Fantastic's, or even Superman! Post your fabulous designs in the comments section and I'll topple off my chair with surprise that anyone bothered to take up my challenge. Woohoo!

(But nobody touch Batman's outfit because he is uber-cool as is.)